Formula feeding moms feel judged and attacked by breastfeeding moms (which, let's be honest, is true often enough).
Breastfeeding moms are constantly told to cover up, feed their babies in bathrooms (because everyone LOVES eating in the bathroom), and basically told to stay hidden in their homes because showing a little bit of breast while feeding our babies and toddlers milk that is taylor-made FOR THEM is somehow indecent and inappropriate. RME. (That's "rolling my eyes," in case you forgot...)
In case you didn't already know, a woman's right to breastfeed in public is protected by law. And no, she doesn't have to cover up. What she's doing is NOT sexual. It is not shameful.
She is simply feeding her baby.
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| "Thanks for the good milk, Mom!" |
Breastfeeding moms also know that breastfeeding isn't always easy. Babies are born with some instincts (like sucking and rooting), but they really don't have a freaking clue what they are doing half the time. And they are tiny and weak and there are ALL KINDS of issues that can come up that have to do with the physiology of either the baby or mother or both! It's NOT EASY.
And then some of us breastfeed two or more babies!
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| Oh just a couple of very happy and exclusively breastfed babies!!! |
And many moms have to go back to work right away (another reason I'm so thankful to be a Canadian - I get to stay home for a whole year)! These moms have to pump every few hours while they are away from their babies. Does that seem fun to anyone? It's not!
Mothers who breastfeed don't always like it either. It can be time consuming, and painful. Sometimes it feels like all you are good for is the food you produce...pretty much a human vending machine...
And some mothers have sensory issues and just can't deal with the sensation...
So, why does anyone even bother with breastfeeding, when formula is readily available in stores, and relatively easy to feed to our babies?
We bother because it is the BEST FOOD FOR OUR BABIES. Period.
The AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) just updated their policy on Breastfeeding. They say this: "Published evidence-based studies have confirmed and quantitated the risks of not breastfeeding. Thus, infant feeding should not be considered as a lifestyle choice but rather as a basic health issue. As such, the pediatrician’s role in advocating and supporting proper breastfeeding practices is essential and vital for the achievement of this preferred public health goal."
There are definitely some reasons why women legitimately can't breastfeed. But often enough, if a woman had had more support from her doctor and other people in her life, she may have been able to continue breastfeeding. Sometimes it takes some extra work, perseverance and support for the mother.
Breastfeeding can be HARD. Mothers need support. And resources.
And babies NEED breastmilk. It is a basic health issue.
And the benefits of breastfeeding FAR OUTWEIGH the challenges.
Now this doesn't mean that we should attack formula feeding moms even harder. Please, for the love, NO! But we need to offer support to new mothers. We need to acknowledge that it can be hard. And we need to know where to find resources.
I know that in Canada, public health nurses are available to come to your house to help you with breastfeeding. There are also many Lactation Consultants who can be hired to come to your house to help you. There are group meetings (Le Leche League - LLL) that mothers can go to to find support, ask questions, and interact with other breastfeeding mothers. Often LLL even has 24 hour help lines that you can call. And there is very VERY likely a chapter that meets right where you live.
There ARE resources available, and you don't even have to look that hard.
There are also online resources like:
Other than that, we can just keep breastfeeding. In front of our kids, our families, our friends and in public. We can normalize it (because IT IS NORMAL), and maybe someday mothers will just assume that when they have a baby, they will breastfeed that baby.
I'm hopeful...are you?
I'm definitely hopeful! I always try to give a smile to the women nursing their babies in public, as I appreciate when I get supportive looks from others when I'm nursing Henry. It's nice to feel encouraged, whether you're a new Mom just starting off or an established breastfeeding pair. I think every little bit helps in reaching the time when everyone thinks it's good and normal! (which obviously we already know it IS.) Great post!
ReplyDelete-Victoria
www.grownorthblog.blogspot.com @GrowNorth
I saw the news today too and was super excited. Good post! And don't forget, there is another alternative to formula for mothers that cannot breastfed but want to give their babies the best...donated breast milk! My post on it, if you're interested - http://doublethink.us.com/paala/2012/02/17/formula-or-donated-breast-milk-donated-breast-milk-ftw/ - Though it is for the US. I don't have milk banking info for Canada on there. I can't believe you get a whole year off for maternity leave!!!!
ReplyDeleteYes! There's the organization called, "Human Milk for Human Babies." They have local Facebook pages where people can interact and share milk! :)
DeleteMy daughter is formula fed (5 months) but only because PPD hit me really hard. I tried for a month and felt awful for not being able to continue. I had no suppl., I was taking 7 different meds a day from having a c-sec, which made eating seem impossible. My lactation consultant didn't help me at all! Will i try and breast feed my next child? YES!
ReplyDeleteIm hopefull that the battle against breastfeeding in public simmers down.There are so many more important things to worry about than where a mother feeds her child.
-Moody
http://manicpanda.blogspot.com/
A few things - (1) your little girls has sooo much hair!!! (2) you are lucky to be in Canada... I had to go back to work at 7 weeks in and I pump like a machine everyday (3) I do believe in the future that formula will not even be used - there will be milk banks, or heck - even breast milk you can buy at the store in place of powdered formula...here's hoping in my grandchildren's lifetime.
ReplyDelete1) Yes, one girl has hair! The other is totally bald! lol!
Delete2) Seriously, I'm so thankful that I'm a Canadian, even if it's cold. ;)
3) Breastmilk in the store would be AWESOME.
AAP's policy change is really awesome but I don't know how much good it is going to do, when only the people who are already informed and already breastfeeding even follow that stuff. As long as formula is advertised and available straight off the shelf, I can't imagine that the numbers are ever going to change all that much.
ReplyDeleteIt's true. Fact is that a lot of Peds and family doctors DO push formula. What are the chances those doctors are going to change their practice? Probably not likely. Hopefully new doctors will start off with being more enlightened in that area. And yes, formula is just too easy to get!
DeleteI feel awful about only breastfeeding for two months. I had no support. The nurse that came to our home, once, made me feel like a terrible mother because I was only 17. She did not help me at all with my breastfeeding issues, I have slightly inverted nipples so it made it so much harder to latch.. And when I asked if I could use the nipple shield I was told not to (I think it would of helped a lot!).
ReplyDeleteThen, my depression hit the roof. I was crying every time I thought about feeding my son, it was so painful, and I felt horrible that we were not actually bonding at all and feeding time was so stressful for everyone.
On top of all that bull I started to get sick and stop breastfeeding, then ended up being bed ridden for months so I wouldn't of been able to continue even if I wanted to.. Even with all that happening I still feel horrible and guilty.
Women need support and to be informed right off the bat.. I had no idea what I was doing or what was going on. I am informed NOW, but that really didn't help me for then.. I had to learn all on my own, no nurse I had was ever any help.
The worst about it all is that even when I did breastfeed I got bad looks, I was covered and you couldn't see anything.. And then I got flack for formula feeding as well.. There is no pleasing anyone.. So next time I will just breastfeed and forget about the Stupid cover. It sucked and didn't help. I will just buy those cute tops that show nothing. :)
I feel your pain! I had flat nipples before I started breastfeeding. AND my son had a tongue tie, so our first month of breastfeeding (before I had his tongue tie clipped) was awful. If I hadn't had support, I might have quit too. I definitely contemplated it MANY times. I had the sample formula cans in my cupboard. It would have been SO easy.
DeleteI don't think you need to feel bad or guilty. I'm sure you did the best you could at the time, and that's what matters. You HAVE to do what you need to do to be a good mother.
And, it's true, you can't win. I can't even fathom why people think breastfeeding is weird or indecent, but they do. I hardly ever nursed without a cover with my son, but I've finally gotten good at it with my girls. It makes feeding them in public a breeze, and people really don't even notice, and they don't see boob! :) I mostly wear two tops so I can pull one up and still have another covering my middle. Works great!